Thriving or surviving? Late night ramblings of a unkept mother….

I write this as the clock reads 5.15am, Jasmine hasn’t been in her crib since 11pm despite my efforts, the girl wants to sleep front down on my chest! Which got me thinking, am I really thriving or just surviving? Before I became a mum I would never think to tell a mum what a great job she was doing, consumed with thoughts about how lucky they were to have time off work and ‘how hard can it be?’ Or ‘it’s a life choice’. Before I became Jasmines mummy I never realised the power behind those simple words. You’re doing so well. Now I try and tell others all the time. I’ve thrown 100% of my life in to becoming Jasmines mummy that I’ve forgotten how to just be me.

I used to love trying new clothes but now when I’m in the city I look for clothes for her not me not to mention the fact I’ve hacked most of my tops in to something I can feed in! I shower because of convenience and eat because I need fuel for the night shift…..then the days shift and then the night shift again….. my skin feels like a pre loved shoe! I look at celebrities and wonder how they look so great? how do they have time to look so glamorous? To look like themselves again so soon? Instagram is literally crammed with pictures of mummy celebs looking amazing!! As I look at the reflection staring back at me in the mirror, I wonder am I really thriving or just surviving?

I want to feel nice again. But, then I look at Jasmine, does she care if I’m wearing cute jeans or comfy leggings? Or does she care if I have a full face of make up and perfect nails? Does she care if I follow a you tube tutorial on the perfect ‘messy bun’…. no. She doesn’t care. She cares that I’m here, that I love her, and that she is warm and fed. So when she looks back at pictures of us together I won’t be perfect in the picture but she will look happy and so will I.

“The course of true love never did run smooth” – William Shakespeare Act 1 Scene 1 – a midsummer nights dream.

16 thoughts on “Thriving or surviving? Late night ramblings of a unkept mother….”

  1. Love this! So true. Long gone are the cute jeans and leggings make the world go round. My hair hasn’t been cut or colored in months. I have greys! It’s almost too heavy for a messy bun but… I’ve never been happier!

  2. Great blog! Have shared!
    I definitely feel though that when we spend a little time on ourselves it changes our entire attitude too. A good friend told me that the Mother is the thermometer of the entire house – if the Mum is feeling great and well in herself then, generally, the rest of the house will be too. Don’t neglect yourself in the long run – we totally deserve some me-time and to pamper up every now and again – it’s good for our health!

  3. Love this, so true! Love your profile pic even more ? I agree with what Hollie said though, making a little time for yourself, even if you jump in the bath for ten minutes and then spend 10 minutes doing your hair/makeup/whatever, it will give you such a rush and put you in a better mood! Buy yourself something next time you go clothes shopping too, love Norwich! We stay at the Premier Inn on Broadlands quite often and love the castle ☺️ Xx

  4. This is very true. I think the first year after both my babies was all about surviving rather than thriving. My my youngest is three I am much more along the lines of thriving so there is definitely hope in the future. One day you will get to shop for those skinny jeans and enjoy doing so.

  5. A bit of both I am sure! It is definitely all about surviving in the first year (or so) but that doesn’t mean that you are thriving at being a great mummy and doing just what you need to for Jasmine. After all staying up all night so she has somewhere save and comfy so she can sleep sounds like you are thriving to me. Well done! 🙂

  6. Aww this is so true! Since becoming a mummy I have found such comfort in having two little people that I know will never judge the way I look 🙂

  7. I love this, it’s so true. I think you do kind of just survive for a little bit, but then when they get bigger it does slowly go back to you again. And you start choosing clothes for yourself and sleeping better. 🙂 x

  8. Yes to all of this! With my first, it was definitely survival mode for the first six months or so. With my second, I was more relaxed and put together.

  9. I think the best any of us can hope for during those first couple of years is to survive to be honest! But it does get A LOT easier as they grow.

    So important to tell parents they are doing a good job. I was dealing with a tantrum on the bus once and an older lady touched me on the arm on the way off and said “Don’t worry, you’re doing great.” I’ve never forgotten that and how much it meant to me x

  10. Love this and oh so very true! It does get easier I promise;) My boys are 3 & 6 now and they are so easy to look after.

  11. As a Mum of 5, I can definitely say they don’t care about how you look. They just care that Mummy is with them. Even now, my kids, love those duvet days on the sofa watching movies in our pjs. I know I love those days!

  12. I don’t have children yet but I agree that they don’t care what you’re wearing or how your hair is. That said, if that matters to you, if you want to pop your hair up and buy a new pair of jeans, then there’s nothing wrong with that. I think do what feels right to you and don’t feel guilty either way.

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