Dear Jasmine……. all the things I want to tell you as I watch you grow.

Whilst I was pregnant, my partner and I decided to create an email account for our baby girl. We individually send her letters, photos and videos. When she is 18 or around that age, and is having a down day where she may doubt herself and lack in confidence or if she has had her heart broken for the first time (shortly after her Dad has been round to ‘have a word’ with him) I will give her the password to her email account and then she can read 18 years worth of love letters to her from her Daddy and me.

Here’s my most recent email.

Dear Jasmine,

Today you turned four month old, Daddy and I are convinced you are going to be a genius, you’re so clever and bright. So clever you now know you are in your car seat and instead of being the contented little baby you once were in the car you now hate it!! And from being the most sociable little girl you have turned in to a Velcro baby who can only be passed to me or your daddy without tears.

I’ve researched this and it’s known as the 4th leap, which is part of your development. So the tougher it is for me the brighter you will be right?! Today you went swimming for the first time, you kicked your legs so hard and concentrated so much it’s amazing how determined you are.

Today you not only swam for the first time you also did a poop and it went all over my brand new white Egyptian cotton bedsheets…. so this is not a love letter…. this is an invoice! I joke. I have never known anxiety like I have now, I worry about you so much. I’m not sure that will ever get easier. This age is such a beautiful age to watch you grow. But it’s so hard too, my back hurts from all the cuddles you need and I want to give you, I’m no longer allowed to eat dairy as you may have an intolerance, your cry shatters my heart a million times every time I hear it. But I wouldn’t change anything because I love you so much and I’m so grateful.

Your cry means your alive and expressing your emotions, I’m grateful.

Your cuddles mean you love me and I love you so much, I’m grateful we have that bond.

Your waking up through the night means we can spend those precious moments together, the nights may be long but the years are short. I’m grateful.

I’m so grateful for you, I know the difficulty others may go through to have children, I know there are those who have lost children and how lucky I am despite the challenges I face every day.

And now you’re all grown up sweetheart, so please, go to the fridge and pour mummy a glass of wine…..

love you always darling

Mummy xx

6 thoughts on “Dear Jasmine……. all the things I want to tell you as I watch you grow.”

  1. Lovely letter Marie and throughout all the worries, lack of sleep and bad backs, you’ve still kept your fab sense of humour xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *