Will you have anymore?
My stitches hadn’t even dissolved yet after my episiotomy! I’d rather cut my head off and feed it to a dragon than go through that again?! Why do people feel the need to ask this question? They just can’t help themselves. My baby is four days old, calm down. Let me enjoy her, without discussing more hypothetical off spring.
Sleep when she sleeps.
And should I cook when she cooks? shower when she showers and clean when she cleans? The thing is a baby may nap for 30 minutes or may nap for 3 minutes, nothing feels worse than just drifting off for a few seconds and being woken up by a baby crying.
Is she good?
Not really, she is failing all her exams and keeps being caught smoking behind the bike sheds!! SHES A BABY. They are all innocent and have their own individual personalities, that isn’t ‘naughtiness’ they are just learning. They aren’t trying to manipulate you or test you, they just love you and are exploring this scary new world.
Are you going back to work?
No. Are you going to fund my lifestyle? Oh you’re not? Then probably yeah.
When do you go back to work?
In a YEARS time let’s not talk about that, I have a new job – meet Jasmine, she’s my boss!
Are you feeding her?
I have to FEED her?????? No one told me this at the hospital! Oh you mean breastfeeding? Well say that then. And yes I am breastfeeding. I’d love to hear your views on feeding my baby – said no mum ever.
How often do you feed her?
When ever she wants, next question.
Is she in a routine?
Yes it’s called the Routine-la-Jasmine ….. Jasmine does what she wants when she wants I can’t change that, nor do I want to. My life is baby led now, at least for the moment and if she wants to be held a little longer then I always will, I’m raising a child not applying for the army.