Just Jasmine. Let’s stop grading our babies.

‘Oh he’s very advanced’ I watch a mum brag as her baby son put a square shape in a square hole…. ‘he’s a genius’ she continued……I wanted to laugh but realised she was being serious. Sure, I thought, he could go on to put ALL the square shapes in all the square holes, travel the world putting square shapes in square holes, save lives putting square shapes in square holes or maybe he’s just a baby and he has figured that out?!

Who are we comparing our babies to when we look at what they should/shouldn’t be doing at their age? It’s bad enough society put pressure on 11 year olds to do exams, but do you know what the exams prove? Nothing. It proves they are good in exams. The same with babies, why do we have these milestones? What they should be doing…. if I followed the milestones I’m sure it will say she ‘should be crawling’ but Jasmine wants to drag herself along the floor with one elbow whilst holding a coaster in the other, do you know what? That’s fine by me – because she’s just Jasmine.

She’ll create her own milestones and do amazing things. Maybe she’ll compete in the ‘coaster carrying Olympics’ one day, where you can only use one arm! She’ll be laughing at all the others she beats who probably crawled ‘properly’ as babies.

Let’s worry less about the milestones their not hitting and champion the things they do beautifully, for example Jasmine can find ANY wire in a room, no matter how well I think it hidden – it’s very impressive.

So will she win the baby milestone championships? Will she be equal to the intelligent of square shape baby? Probably not. But I will teach her that she can do anything she bloody well wants to in life, and for now, she’s Just Jasmine and she’s a pretty great version of who she is.

14 thoughts on “Just Jasmine. Let’s stop grading our babies.”

  1. Love this, im a childminder and I think there is too much emphasis on milestones in the younger years. I have had babies walk before they crawled, talk before feeding them selves, i could go on. Unless there are major development delays and you are worried then let babies be babies I say!

  2. Oh I love this! It was the one thing I hated most about playgroups, all of the competitive mums comparing their babies. All babies are different, none of my four were the same!

  3. I can’t wait to see the one Handed Coaster Carrying in the Olympics 😘. But you’re right all babies develop differently and we shouldn’t compare them to each other.

  4. I found this with my first baby so much, but when I had my twins people would compare the twins against each other instead! They will do things when their ready not when we say they should

  5. I think it’s because as parents we want to make sure our children are developing at the rate they should be (ie: there’s no evidence of something that’s going to seriously affect them as they get older). It’s perfectly natural. 🙂

  6. I could not agree more, sometimes I am pushed to compare my daughter with other babies. I think in the process of this, we pressurize them into losing their uniqueness. Your baby is so gorgeous xx

  7. Couldnt agree more. There is so much pressure for our babies to reach these milestones. Speaking from personal experience, I work in early years education and there is pressure there for children to follow certain developmental ideals and when they don’t they can really struggle. From my experience as a mum, I worry constantly about milestones, both of my children were born early at 36 weeks and 34 weeks. Both have been slightly delayed at hitting milestone for example, everyone is shocked when I mention my daughter didnt crawl until 11 months or walk until 17 months. Does it really matter when she did it? Surely what is important is that she did it? x

    1. Interesting that you see both sides with work and home! Exactly they still crawled and walked- just at their own pace! X

  8. Ooo I hate ‘milestones’ as I don’t think they prove very much. Is your baby crawling, can your baby talk, what age are you potty training, what age did they walk. Every child is unique and develops in their own time and own way. My two kids are so different when it comes to hitting their ‘milestones’. My first managed to talk early on, but couldn’t jump until he was nearly 4 years old. While my youngest is slow to talk, and has been able to jump since he was 18 months. It really doesn’t matter and I’m not sure what it all proves really!! Other than we are trying to rush our children through childhood only aiming for each milestone rather than living in the moment. Because when they’re 18, they’re not going to be judged on whether they starting hitting certain milestones a few months or weeks in advance of other children.

  9. I couldn’t agree more! Babies are babies. They develop differently, but at the end of the day, they’re all growing up and they’ll be able to do most things babies are supposed to do by the time they’re 1.

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